Boy, do I empathize and understand.
When a believer falls, tongues wag and blame becomes a way of life. You don't really can't pinpoint how it all went wrong, unless you are very humble. You know your faith is a major part of your life, yet you wonder how you strayed. I know ... been there, done that.
I am praying for you. I am ridiculed by many for ruining my testimony of more than 25 years of faith and study; I can't imagine the pressure and ridicule you are being excoriated by people who feel betrayed.. I truly relate to and understand your plight ... and your sin.
When we let ambition, training (listening to flawed "put God in a box" apologia about right and wrong, or a lack of rightly dividing the Theo-pneustos Word of God) and society dictate the way we look at life, these pitfalls are ready made. With societal, economic and militaristic endeavors, loneliness always presages the fall of a believer. God has wonderfully and mightily created us; we were not made to live a life based upon being an American, but being a citizen of the kingdom of heaven. America has blurred this distinction, and we feel being a good American is tantamount to be a good believer. I've discovered the fallacy of this misconception.
This country was founded, as Machiavelli pontificates in the Prince and Discourses on Livy, as a republic with individuals being governed by the whole being more important than personal gain; but we have allowed the despotism of being a liberal democracy (both Republicans and Democrats) to come to the forefront, with popularity being more important ... the nobility of truth becomes a sacrificial element ... the good for all loses out to the over-riding element of personal accomplishment/gain. We have taken away the responsibilities of citizens of a republic and traded them for personal benefits ... so we pay the price of everyone tipping into a flawed sense of government because the slippage of truth is what everyone is expecting and doing.
Our goals to follow Christ are diminished by the popular premise of following our flawed misconceptions. We get lonely, and need the holes to be filled. The "devil" is in the details of following religion, instead of the spiritual quest to be filled with the fruit of the Spirit. When we leave God out of our conversation, as militaristic, economic and governmental requirements demand ... we set ourselves up for failure.
We have strayed from our convictions. Our goals to achieve were offset by our frailties. Many people will not comprehend the seductive call of well-intentioned but selfish motives. We all sin and miss the mark, falling short of the glory of God. How you respond to this will dictate how you continue your walk with our Creator. Do not give up hope; Christ died for your sins, and He knows your heart. His blood washes us white as snow.
You were in line to be a possible Vice-President. I was in line to be a helpful, faithful believer. All that can be said to either of us is to continue to follow Christ as your Lord and Savior. You and your family are in my prayers. Be steadfast in His love ... and, let the tongues say what they will. He who is without sin, let them cast the first stone. Be humble and confess your sins before God, and He will be merciful and forgiving.
Just don't quench the Holy Spirit; how you walk from here will truly demonstrate your service and humility before our Father. That, in this life, is what truly counts anyway. Things of this world are passing away, and as "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."