Broken ...

Broken ...

Broken ...

Branches, flowers, pads,

limbs, petals, thorns.

Wings and feathers,

body and limbs lay decomposing

amidst the life

that goes on.

Chirping, rustling, buzzing,

rolling, crackling, straining ...

the sounds of a

neighborhood rising into

the new day.

Flapping, swatting, swishing

as I sit here wishing

I could hear Father's plan

for me today.

Seek, observe, listen

under shade or

in the sun

wondering about lessons

I am hearing,

knowing that

the Son is speaking to

ears, hearts, eyes

that are ... broken.

"Heal me" is the tune

that thinking minds assume,

but eyes can not see

ears can not hear

what is spiritually written

into the breath that is life.

growth continues to expand

seeking its path

as is ordained.

Unfurling, opening, bracing

its energy charged

its shape displaying

vitality, beauty ... tainted

by toxins unleashed

by man and nature.

Growth sporadic,

thoughts enslaved to the

pruning life bestows.

Symmetry, both beautiful

and also deformed,

as are the feathers of our

thoughts, hopes, dreams.

What does ear hear

what does eye see

that is not filtered

through experience encountered?

Broken branches, flowers, pads

with bodies decomposing

all speak to ears that

can not hear and to

eyes that can not see.

The Spirit sees

and understands, transforming

woman and man

even though

blind and deaf,

we move forward

unfurling, expanding.

Broken ...

the noise of life and thought

all speak out,

chirping, settling, flapping

swarming with excitement

hearing, smelling, interacting

gnat-like in its insistency

of doing its

part of showing

God is speaking

and we all interact.

Decay, stench, odorous

smells are in

thoughts, words, deeds;

flowers, branches, trees,

thorns and thistles,

sweat of the brow.

All intertwined, broken.

Whirring, rattling, humming

shadows, silhouettes, reflections

all display patterns

that speak to our hearts.

Hearts wear their

filters, blinders, scars

that alter understanding,

awareness, empathy and

responses to brokenness.

Lines, platforms, canopies,

textures, flexibility, patterns,

movement, completion, return.

Such as this

is truly written

for our eyes

to see

and our ears

to hear.

Jargon, slang, anger

shape the transformations

of our filters.

Addictions, growth, slogans,

stunted yet free ...

become our thoughts

held in captivity

by being broken.

Father, we are

free because You

have a plan

and it's written before time.

Thank You for love,

thank You for Blood.

for only through Blood

can the broken heal,

not a we share,

not as we care.

But You do.

Through life we are blessed

if only we

address that plan

that is written.

All around the

answers are here,

Your beauty divine,

Your righteousness displayed.

Live commandments given

is requirement needed;

our dull eyes,

our dull ears,

our dull hearts ...

encased in pride,

ensconced in prejudices,

wrapped in judgement.

What we explain,

our egos in vain

try fooling You

and the world.

Except for Blood

washing and cleansing

Your beloved creation,

we are broken.

Excuses, whining, complaining ...

"it is them, not me!"

Our folly exposed

to You, LORD, You know.

That's why in

branches, flowers, pads,

limbs, petals, thorns,

wings, feathers decomposing;

chirping, rustling, buzzing,

rolling, crackling, whooshing,

settling, creaking, straining,

flapping, swatting, swishing ...

we hear You

and Your love

love and heal

the broken.

Thank You, Anointed

through the Breath

we pray, saying

Amen, Amen, Amen.

Getting married

I am about to get married for the second, and last, time.

My first marriage was 23 years; I screwed up, letting my ex and myself drift apart. I was so concerned about being successful, making the life I believed we all wanted. It turns out, I was wrong. I wandered away because we chose to follow life with different views, with different options. She is a wonderful person ... I wasn't the man she desired me to be. My two children suffered for the mistake; they don't talk to me anymore. That deeply sorrows my spirit, yet I have hope we will reconcile. It's their choice, and I leave it in God's hands.

My fiance and I have big differences. We come from different backgrounds, with two very different upbringings. Ahhh, storge and eros (Greek for affection and physical attraction/love). I am banking on these two elements to stabilize our relationship, with our belief in the Messiah being our foundation. Our affection and devotion to each other has proven to overcome the tumltuous actions our differences have spawned. I never dreamt I would get into the situations that I have endured ... going through the losses I have encountered ... and then move forward feeling I am finding my faith and confident that we will serve Father faithfully, we will trust in Jesus wholeheartedly and be filled with the Holy Spirit constantly.

A messianic rabbi is going to marry us. This is a wonderous gift from our heavenly Father!!! I know that Diana and I have been working at growing in our faith, in letting our differences not dictate our actions ... having a rabbi who knows the Messiah marry us is a sign that we are walking more and more in faith, that we will overcome the pain and anguish we both have lived through. We have a lot of work to do, and we will explode with love and power as we allow the power of our Creator to heal and renew us!

We believe, as children, wholeheartedly because we don't know any better. Our trust is a mile high ... we are getting our needs met, and we trust!!!

Disappointment is one of the true spoilers of life; it makes us bitter and disillusioned, and it mars the view that we should have for living! That is why it says believe in the kingdom of God, we should believe as children; we need to be wholehearted in our belief! Just like a 6 month old knowing it's going to be fed ... a 1 year old knowing it's going to stay safe.

When we allow our disapointment/injustices mar our view, we let our child-like belief dissipate! We become hurtful because we are hurt. We stop believing that everything is going to be all right because we have a loving Father.

Remember, He sends His angels to watch over you ... He loves us all, and our child-like nature is what we are going to rely on! The faith demanded by our Father is for us to trust Him, not ourselves. Am I trusting in Him or myself ... what a tough question if I am guarding against my disillusions and pain. Truth is what He wants, as well as our child-like faith.